Preview of
Facsimile of a Ferocious Fatality
Crimson Casino-The Wheel-13 BBY
Dilbun Vont:(narration)...neva bet chunks ovv yur life in one sitting...or squatin wit one strum.
Amidst idle conversations with vapid patrons and misinformed zealots, the gaming tables began to thin. Having squandered and resupplied credits in haphazard fashion the newlyweds wandered from the common floor and ventured towards the high stakes lounge as followed by the insectoid Gaff.
Dilbun Vont: ain't dare supposed ta be sum kinda..
Cittro: oh yes, but after you've been fully exhausted and cannot deny my affections....
Gaff: sounds like your in for some real enhanced acrobatics pal...might wanna keep a med droid handy.
Cittro: (appalled) I'll never use that Kriffin force in the bedroom! How dare you...
Dilbun Vont: (violently shoving) you'll do whut I want from here on out...and dats whatever. Now rite now both of you are to shut yur Kriffin yapps. Bout to show you whelps how to really gamble.
Cittro: whut want us to take turns drinking off the same flagon and play burning carbon flush?
Dilbun Vont: (embracing)...already played dat game...you lost.
As the oddly matched couple embrace in a public display of affection; a husky gatekeeper droid intrudes.
Bouncer Droid: (high pitched static)
Gaff: (producing coinage) naw were all legit here tinny.
The droid pushes the bribe back towards the gaunt insectoid, causing the newly weds to intervene wiliest lip-locked.
Preempting a string of random assaults; a decadently dressed highroller calls off the bouncers with a single gesture.
Baron Tagge: (spastic) wow...karked in the head is just my flavor, c'mon over here...chill it out...
the trio smoothly strides up to the sparsely packed gaming table; Gaff pulls out seating for his hosts. Dilbun briskly signals for the others to remain standing.
Dilbun Vont: (raises middle finger)...how many fingas? Huh?
Baron Tagge: (upturned sneer) just the one?, no wonder you're making her stand back away from the likes of me.....wouldn't want her to catch my pheromones...
Cittro: (thru gritted teeth)...sleemo lust toad!
In a blur of motion Dilbun elbows his bride in the abdomen, causing a feigned display of pain and a moment of recognition from the Baron.
Baron Tagge: so military issue beret, highly decorated Kobok, a turncoat padawan full of spit and vinegar...spynets are never all their cracked up to be these days....as garrison commander of Gall shouldn't you be overseeing the passage of the aperture crystal through your port? Like huh?
Dilbun Vont: (chugging flask)...so weez took a round bout way back from Galgu's...whuts id to Augie if I maka stopover at the wheel....
Baron Tagge: (passive aggressively) such a smitten lil couple...huh eloping on the wheel; every little girls dream this side of the gutter....so my little gutterbunny care for a change of oils?
Dilbun Vont: (Narration)...now dis kriffer assumes alot, simply cuz dats alls he eva done was assume everything blithely passed his way iz rightfully his; Dats da weakness of nepotism...face value.
Cittro: (spitting mad) you dare!....
Before the enraged bride can continue her string of insults, Dilbun deposits his flask in her mouth.
Dilbun Vont: (pouring) dats rite swig it...aside from da secret of the secret sauce in biscuit baron's thunderous septic sandwiches; whut ya ever earned their Orman?
Baron Tagge: (tilting goggles down)...aside from a savage excuse for an fashion accessory...
The opulent baron reveals his burnt ocular cavities; to which Dilbun yet again brandishes a finger.
Baron Tagge: (sliding goggles back) nothing and that my Ill tempered scamps is thee expectancy of regal class...strengthening ones own line via supple shifts of resources back towards ones own ends...thus nothing gained and nothing lost....circular longevity; but alas such ideals are lost upon pawns of the empire.
Dilbun Vont: sounds like hoppin round in a circle with yur flarg in yur hand...nuthin buda ego stroke. Gotta git outta yur comfort zone and do a real athletic grift or two...puts hair on yur chest.
Koong: (Partial belch) sayin of which; Barkeep! I'll have sum more of the hound that bit me.
A cylindrical droid rapidly resupplies the obese man as the insectoid Gaff brandishes his deadly stinger.
Koong: I see news of yur demise was also ill founded; Vont who'd ya piss off to get stuck with a non-human huh? Thought you ran out on my outfit for a plume gig with Augie...excuse me his majesty.
Gaff: (dripping venom from his stinger) you vile speciest sack of filth!
Dilbun Vont: (elbowing)...now,now opinions are much like sphincters...everybuddies got one!
Baron Tagge: now what are the odds we three...huh sorry four, forgot insectoids counted as sentient...new order ideals and all Kriffin up my...I mean were all connected...except I never met this vont dweeb and his padastrum gutterbunny bride...
Cittro: (slurring)...enuff wid da!
Dilbun Vont: (draining flask)...just drink yur medicine!, pretty sure youesa Neva woulda seen this kriffhole if we'd met before pal!
Baron Tagge: (straining)..what kinda accent is that if you don't mind my askin? Like what kinda backwater did you crawl outta?
Dilbun Vont: (narration)...from treadin like a jib jabber to flat out muddslingin....dis bastages got a bolt primed for discharge and it ain't his style.
Amidst the uneasy silence, Tagge's retinue of sleaze attempts to cower away.
Baron Tagge: (motioning) now now my lovelies, your intended to stay till I take my leave of you...
Dilbun Vont: (motioning)...hey maybe dhey had dare fill of yur self-entitled scabies and would rather hep a bloke out on his honeymoon...
Cittro: (upturned glare)...well you gotta lotta nerve!
Dilbun Vont: (defeated)...thought you where all bout breakin da jetti code?...huh guess you dames are stuck wit ool'occular cavity ova dare...
Baron Tagge: (exhaling)..wagers! lets set the stakes for this round. As sole royal in attendance;...I enact imperial edicts regarding
Prima Noctis!
