JC,
What a great piece of work!
From a technical perspective the sets are amazing! I especially liked the outside walkway, the camera shot gave the impression that it was a massive diorama... was it?
I noticed an old Flash Gordon ship on one of the early images, great to see a very old classic making an appearance, a nod to George Lucas' inspiration perhaps?
As far as the story goes you made a great job of introducing the characters, the subtle humor was great.
I really enjoyed looking at the images and reading it through, I'll get onto the next one in a few days.
Finally, it's such a shame these stories don't get much, if any recognition. I say it time and time again... it's a damn shame.