Pat,
I have to say that I am so incredibly impressed with what I have just read. The last 3 chapters are totally mind blowing. Not only have you captured the essence of Star Wars, but you have also brought in some wonderful magic of your own. The writing is delicious, there is no other word for it....delicious!
There are some absolute classic moments here that stir the emotions...
"You don't call him Anakin anymore, though you've known him since he was nine years old. He was your first and only padawan. He was your friend. He was your brother in arms. You had survived the Clone Wars side by side, and had maintained one of the tightest bonds of any Jedi among the order. And yet, you no longer call him Anakin. Only his new moniker. Why?"
What an excellent way to connect with the conversation between Luke and Obi Wan...I was totally engrossed.
"She was a sweet Togrutan girl who idolized Anakin throughout the Clone Wars. Kenobi wouldn't have been surprised at all if Anakin had learned as much from his pupil as he had taught her himself. The shrine looked to be one of reverence, more than pride. Even the aura that surrounded the display echoed a strong feeling of remorse. " Another superb piece of writing and a very clever clue to the lingering light inside Vader, a stroke of genius and so beautifully written.
There really are too many fantastic features to list without just pasting the whole lot here. Pat, you are just amazingly talented, I really am shocked at how good this is.
I'm actually glad that I didn't read these separately as I have just spent a good 20 minuted engrossed in your absolutely amazing story. It really is a crime that you are not a writer, this is your calling, I firmly believe it.
You've got a standing ovation from me...Bravo!!! BRAVO!!!
(NB- I had to FP this...)
