Another excellent edition! Great story and action, truly a fun read from start to finish! I only have two minor pieces of feedback; 1.) The scene inside the Senate with Bail, Mon, and Padme felt unnecessary. Additionally, I actually found myself liking them less after this scene (due to their complaining). 2.) The dialog from Ventress seemed unnatural, especially the bite me line.
Beyond that, I truly could not offer any advice for improvement! I only point out my feelings to provide more detailed feedback with constructive commentary. Thanks for sharing what has become one of my favorite photonovels!