Author Topic: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY  (Read 5869 times)

Offline CHEWIE

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The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« on: December 28, 2012, 02:34:52 PM »
Took a while but I have another chapter ready in The Enloe Trials!








Since the fall of the Republic, the Enloe family has hidden safely on the obscure planet of Urelia.




With the Clone Wars behind them, they have avoided the oppression of the Galactic Empire...




...and Caldin Enloe has known a life of peace and stability.




But all of that has suddenly changed...




Young and naive, the boy  was in awe at seeing Imperial Stormtroopers for the first time...




Under orders from Imperial Baron Tylin Gere, Rykrof Enloe's wife and son have been escorted from their home...




...but not all of the Stormtroopers left the homestead.




The remaining members of the family found themselves at the mercy of the invaders...




...and were executed for "Crimes against the Empire."




...however, one observer managed to survive the attack.




Having spotted an Imperial Star Destroyer in the atmosphere, Rykrof and Freelo race back to the homestead...




"Caldin!" Rykrof yells as he searches the estate for his family.




"No... it can't be..."




"Palom..."




"DAD!"




"I wasn't here..." Rykrof sobs as he cradles the body of his father.




"We may have been killed too..." Freelo softly replies.




"C...Caldin... Alyssa..." Rykrof stutters, as he attempts to regain his composure...




"We'll find them," Freelo offers as he helps support his friend from falling to the ground.




"Master Enloe!  Thank goodness it's really you!" T-3PO shouts as he approaches Rykrof.




"Where's my son?" Rykrof demands.




"They were Imperial Stormtroopers, I believe.  They took him and Alyssa with them," the droid explains.
"And look what they did to poor Palom and your father!"




"Look!" the droid then shouts.
"Someone is sending a transmission to the homestead!"




Rykrof stares impatiently as the transmission begins to patch through...




...as the image of a high ranking Imperial materializes.




"Tylin Gere!" Freelo exclaims.




"Greetings from the Empire, my old friends," the Imperial baron announces.

"You must accept my condolences for your losses," he pauses.
"There are so many unfortunate casualties of war."




"They did nothing to deserve this!" Rykrof bellows.




"Quite the contrary," the Imperial smugly replies.
"When my troops arrived, they immediately opened fire on my men."




"We both know that's not what happened here," Rykrof snarls.
"Where is my son?"




"Up here, with me... and with your wife," Tylin continues.
"I had nearly forgotten what a beautiful woman she is."




"You're going to pay for this, you son of bitch."




"You are not in a position to make threats," the Imperial Baron retorts.
"Now... if you wish to ever see your wife or son again, you will follow my orders."




"Several years ago, we were closing in on an ancient Sith artifact that was in possession of the Separatists," Tylin explains.




"The Rhen Var artifact..." Rykrof says in disbelief.




"Correct," the Imperial says.
"And finally, it's been located... on Dathomir... and currently in the hands of Badoo Corba terrorists."




"That's why you targeted Rykrof," Freelo mutters.
"Because he's been to Dathomir... and knows Badoo Corba procedures."




"You'll find their base on the island of Prootin," Tylin explains.
"There you will secure the artifact, validate the contents are intact, and report back to me."




"You have 30 standard days to complete your assignment.  The holocode to reach me is within a shuttle waiting for you back at the Rithos spaceport... if I don't hear from you, I will be forced to assume you have failed."




"I'll get the relic for you," Rykrof says.
"But promise me; you won't touch my son... or Alyssa."




"They have nothing to fear," Tylin smiles.
"You will find adequate supplies aboard the shuttle... R4-22 will lead you to it." 




Rykrof watches as the transmission comes to an abrupt end.




"An astro droid?" Rykrof wonders aloud.




At that moment, an Imperial R4 unit turns the corner.




"I have a bad feeling about this," Rykrof growls.




Coming to a halt, R4-22 beeps an obscenity at Rykrof in response.




"I'm not sure we should take that shuttle," Freelo says.
"This could be a trap."




"It may be, but for now I need to do things Tylin's way," Rykrof explains.
"You really don't have to get involved with this, Freelo. This is my problem; not yours."




"Caldin and Alyssa are my family too," Freelo snorts.




"Alright then," Rykrof says softly.
"We'll get moving after we bury Palom and Dad."




Meanwhile, the Dantallion prepares to leave the Urelia System.




"This is almost too easy," Tylin smirks to himself as he exits the transmission room.




"Sir," an officer says as he approaches Tylin.
"We have secured Enloe's wife and child in a holding block on level two."




"Well done," Tylin smiles.




"How much do they know?"




"They are completely unaware of what has transpired," the officer grins.
"Both are under the assumption that the Stormtroopers deployed to the homestead were sent to rescue them from an impending Badoo Corba strike."




"However, the wife does appear to be suspicious."

"We must see to it that Alyssa Enloe gains our trust," the Baron replies.




"Now, see to it that both are treated well."




"These people are our guests, after all."




Back on Urelia, the streets of Rithos Spaceport carry on as usual with dangerous thugs at every corner...




...and in Docking Bay 19A, Rykrof and his companions arrive at their destination.




"We've been expectin' you," a gruff Advozse security guard announces.




"We can... take it from here," Rykrof carefully replies.




"Guuda," the leader of the group says.
"Now get this Imperial scrap outta here."




Rykrof then cautiously watches as the group exits the docking bay.




"The Advozse are a most peculiar species," T-3PO announces as he and R4-22 approach the ship.




"They are!" Freelo agrees.
"Maybe we should be on our way soon... we wouldn't want to upset them."




"Sir, if you'll not be needing me, I think I'll board the shuttle with R4," T-3PO then says.




"Freelo, we're going to need to..." Rykrof pauses.
"What the..."




"Stay back, I'll handle this," he growls while approaching a group who has quietly entered the docking bay.




"Remain calm," former Jedi Master Kala Mly Shundi insists, sensing Rykrof's anger.
"We're here to help."




"Kala?" he asks.
"What's going on?  Why are you here?"




"He sensed you were in danger," Traedon Cusiro explains.




"You!  You son of a bitch!" Rykrof shouts as he aims his blaster at Traedon.




"Echuta!" Traedon's droid warns.




"Rykrof, NO!" Kala pleads.
"He's clean.  Traedon has been working with me since the war.  He has no allegiance to the Badoo Corba."





"I locked you up myself," Rykrof snarls.
"How did you get out of prison?"




"When the Separatists attacked Coruscant, I was able to escape in all the confusion," Traedon shrugs.
"The complex was destroyed... you should be glad to know I'm okay."




"I felt the deaths at your home," Kala then frowns.
"Tell me... where are Caldin and Alyssa?"




"Tylin abducted them," Rykrof frowns.
"He sent us here to the shuttle to recover an artifact for him on Dathomir."




"We were about to depart before you arrived."




"Everything checks out with the ship," Freelo offers.
"I can't even find evidence of a tracking device."




"Hey!" Tradeon hollers upon noticing an Advozse lurking behind a power generator.




"Dunka no spola!"




"Get out of here before I break that horn off in your ass!" Traedon threatens.




"Go on!  I said GET!"




"Moorgh oat maak'say!" the Advozse curses back at Traedon as he exits the docking bay.




"Humph!  Never can be too careful," Traedon grins.




"I am offering our services to you to recover the artifact and help save your family," Kala then says to Rykrof.
"If you refuse, I will be forced to return back to my team on Alderaan."




"I'm not sure I like this, but I'll take whatever help we can get," Rykrof concedes.

"Good," Kala smiles.  "You can explain everything you know about this artifact en route to Dathomir."




"Here we go again," Freelo sighs.








Thanks in advance for any feedback/comments/questions.

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Offline wraithnine

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2012, 02:51:47 PM »
mate that was sublime an excellent chapter loved it !
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Offline Kualan

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2012, 06:16:50 PM »
Very nice, as before. Keep up the good work, looking forward to the next chapter.

Offline jlw515

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2012, 07:24:24 PM »
Excellent chapter!! I'll post a more detailed reply over at Yakface!

Jason

Offline Tamer

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2012, 08:58:44 AM »
Awesome. Time to go get this updated on the front page.

I gave this a shout out on Custom Action Figure News today as well. I know doing this is hard work and we appreciate you sharing it with us.

Offline Luke Sprywalker

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2012, 10:25:09 AM »
Awesome chapter Chewie! Very well written and the sets and figures are very cool. Nice Work!

Offline Tamer

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2012, 02:44:20 PM »
So its a trap of course. No way the Baron lets his wife and kid go free even if he does get the artifact. I will be interested to see how this turns out and how Rykrof gets even with the Baron.

Offline DocOutlands

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2012, 09:31:43 PM »
-start snobby critic voice-
"I regret to inform you the streets of Urelia are nowhere *near* dirty/filthy/littered enough to be convincing.  And the lighting is far too consistent and well-done to evoke any sort of feeling of hard-luck environs that your story attempts to convey verbally..."

-blaster-fire whines, a loud thump is heard-

Frikkin AMAZING work!  Felt like it could have been two chapters, actually.  You certainly pulled out some creative stops!  I like the Baron's coat under his armor - nice touch.  And the unnamed officer - where did you get a 3.75" Chekov head??  It looks just like him.  Looks like a HALO shield generator unit...if I could ever catch one at a decent price...  Rykrof's wife is a magnificent figure!  Great posing in pretty much every panel - the one with Rykrof racing into the home's courtyard is just one of many excellent examples.  Only a handful of rubs present themselves - the Advoz merc- ah, security guards, one shot of Rykrof's right hand, and the Stormies opening fire.  In reverse order, then...

When the Stormies open fire, the one we see is holding an RC's DC17.  In all the shots of the Stormies, we don't see anyone carrying it, so to see it as the first weapon to fire makes for a bit of a "jump-cut."  Had we seen this weapon in the background earlier, it wouldn't have been jarring at all.

R's right hand... This is an issue of the figure's design coupled with the angle of the shot and macro-photography.  It makes his hand look insanely long, almost to the point of being artificially elongated.  I'm not sure anything can be done on this one, as I don;t know how much physical space you had to work with and the pose is otherwise excellent.

The Advoz - The first two figs look to be posed almost identically in several frames and it makes them look almost like the same fig that was cloned and placed twice.  Part of this is due to them all having extremely similar paint-jobs on their jumpsuits and armor and similar weapons.  I'd suggest varying the poses and angles on such similar figures a bit more radically.

Marvelous, MARVELOUS work!  Your parts-blends are phenominal and your photography is simply stunning.  Some day, I hope I can pull off just *one* photograph that comes together as well as so many of yours do!

Offline CHEWIE

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2013, 03:23:36 PM »
mate that was sublime an excellent chapter loved it !

Thanks -- glad you liked it and thanks for the support!

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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2013, 03:24:28 PM »
Very nice, as before. Keep up the good work, looking forward to the next chapter.

I appreciate it, and I have most of the plotline lined out for the next chapter, but the dioramas are a different story.   8)

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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2013, 03:28:04 PM »
Excellent chapter!! I'll post a more detailed reply over at Yakface!

Jason

Thanks, and I appreciate the detailed comments you posted there.  It means a lot!

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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2013, 03:28:45 PM »
Awesome. Time to go get this updated on the front page.

I gave this a shout out on Custom Action Figure News today as well. I know doing this is hard work and we appreciate you sharing it with us.

Anytime and thank you as always!

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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #12 on: January 07, 2013, 03:30:07 PM »
Awesome chapter Chewie! Very well written and the sets and figures are very cool. Nice Work!

Thanks buddy - and I wish I had a cool Rebel docking bay like you made, I might have to try sometihing like that because it would really be a great scene...

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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #13 on: January 07, 2013, 03:31:17 PM »
So its a trap of course. No way the Baron lets his wife and kid go free even if he does get the artifact. I will be interested to see how this turns out and how Rykrof gets even with the Baron.

Yeah, things won't end well on that front... it will take a while for the events to take place since each chapter takes so long, but hopefully things will move along faster than what I'm predicting.

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Offline CHEWIE

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Re: The Enloe Trials Chapter 2 - ATROCITY
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2013, 03:40:50 PM »
-start snobby critic voice-
"I regret to inform you the streets of Urelia are nowhere *near* dirty/filthy/littered enough to be convincing.  And the lighting is far too consistent and well-done to evoke any sort of feeling of hard-luck environs that your story attempts to convey verbally..."

-blaster-fire whines, a loud thump is heard-

Frikkin AMAZING work!  Felt like it could have been two chapters, actually.  You certainly pulled out some creative stops!  I like the Baron's coat under his armor - nice touch.  And the unnamed officer - where did you get a 3.75" Chekov head??  It looks just like him.  Looks like a HALO shield generator unit...if I could ever catch one at a decent price...  Rykrof's wife is a magnificent figure!  Great posing in pretty much every panel - the one with Rykrof racing into the home's courtyard is just one of many excellent examples.  Only a handful of rubs present themselves - the Advoz merc- ah, security guards, one shot of Rykrof's right hand, and the Stormies opening fire.  In reverse order, then...

When the Stormies open fire, the one we see is holding an RC's DC17.  In all the shots of the Stormies, we don't see anyone carrying it, so to see it as the first weapon to fire makes for a bit of a "jump-cut."  Had we seen this weapon in the background earlier, it wouldn't have been jarring at all.

R's right hand... This is an issue of the figure's design coupled with the angle of the shot and macro-photography.  It makes his hand look insanely long, almost to the point of being artificially elongated.  I'm not sure anything can be done on this one, as I don;t know how much physical space you had to work with and the pose is otherwise excellent.

The Advoz - The first two figs look to be posed almost identically in several frames and it makes them look almost like the same fig that was cloned and placed twice.  Part of this is due to them all having extremely similar paint-jobs on their jumpsuits and armor and similar weapons.  I'd suggest varying the poses and angles on such similar figures a bit more radically.

Marvelous, MARVELOUS work!  Your parts-blends are phenominal and your photography is simply stunning.  Some day, I hope I can pull off just *one* photograph that comes together as well as so many of yours do!

All are good flaws to point, so no worries.

On the ground for the spaceport, would you believe that's a dark (nearly black) ground?  It just won't photograph that way for some reason when I  have it populated with figures and buildings - the flloor appears bright!

As for the guards, I see what you mean and realized it when editing the photos.  I *almost* reshot the scene, but it was something like 2am, and I had to work the next day... having kids makes my spare time very rare; so it's so depressing to set up the dioramas, snap pics, take it all down, and then find a flaw like that.  It happens to me all the time.  Same thing goes with the Stormtrooper gun.  I had multiple pictures with one holding the gun in other pics, but they didn't turn out with decent enough quality - I just threw my hands up in the air when I realized it and decided it wasn't worth a couple more hrs of setting up the scenes again to reshoot.  

This chapter probably took me at least 75 hrs to make from top to bottom and eventually I hit the bottom of the well and can do no more as I know there will always be flaws.  I see a lot more that you didn't mention and they bother me, but I try to look past them or these are no longer any fun for me.

Thank you for the comments and critiques... as the officer head, I think from maybe one of the new AT-ST drivers?  I can't really recall.  It was just in my head fodder box.

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« Last Edit: January 07, 2013, 06:33:49 PM by CHEWIE »